This is the headline of a NY Times feature article on personal debt today. The article points to a supposedly well-known but new-to-me phrase: When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. While we lament the downturn in the American economy that seems to have resulted in significant part due to excessive consumer borrowing, our federal government has responded by giving us an "economic jump-start" in the form of a tax rebate. Why? So we can save? So we can pay down a tiny part of our debt? No. So that in tough times we can go shopping. Sheesh.

Now, I don't intend to jump on the bandwagon and blast lenders for making irresponsible loans. There's plenty of that going around, and those lenders are now eating the dessert they prepared for themselves. Neither do I intend to hammer consumers for irresponsible financial decisions. It's easy to criticize looking back, but I'm sure the situation looked different at the time.

What I have been thinking about is how I can do things differently. What can I learn from this? First, it makes me glad that I am not yet committed to a mortgage, and it motivates me to be very careful when I do commit. I would rather live in a modest house or townhome than have mortgage payments that threaten to drown me if anything goes awry. As Holly and I have discussed housing options, there are many things that we would like to have. But are we willing to scale back our expectations in order to prioritize giving and saving ahead of luxury items like a yard or space or a big kitchen with lots of storage? As we have some time before we make that decision, we probably need to consider that.

Next, it makes me how ready I would be to downsize my standard of living. I don't live a very lavish lifestyle, but due to my financial good fortune, I have never really had to worry much about money. If I want to go out to eat, I can. If I want to get a new book or buy a new CD, I can. If I want to drive somewhere, I don't concern myself with the cost of gas. But what if I get to a place where that's what I need to do? What if I allowed myself to get more comfortable with a higher standard of living and then had to scale back? These questions become even more relevant as I think about my upcoming new responsibilities to care not only for myself but also for my family. If we, under my leadership, establish living habits that are not sustainable, it will affect the whole family.

As I continue mulling over various options for a psalm, hymn, or spiritual song to include in Holly and I's wedding, here is another that I am considering. The verses are by John Newton, and the arrangement and chorus are by Daniel Renstrom.

Let us Love and Sing and Wonder

Let us love and sing and wonder,
Let us praise the Savior's Name!
He has hushed the law's loud thunder,
He has quenched Mount Sinai's flame.
He has washed us with His blood,
He has brought us nigh to God.

Let us love and sing and wonder,
Let us praise our Savior's Name!

Let us sing, though fierce temptation
Threaten hard to bear us down!
For the Lord, our strong Salvation,
Holds in view the conqueror's crown:
He Who washed us with His blood
Soon will bring us home to God.

Let us love and sing and wonder,
Let us praise our Savior's Name!

    We, we delight in the Son, who gives us light
    And his light has now dawned on us
    We, we delight in the Son, who gives us light
    And his light has now dawned on us

Let us wonder; grace and justice
Join and point to mercy's store;
When through grace in Christ our trust is,
Justice smiles and asks no more:
He Who washed us with His blood
Has secured our way to God.

Let us love and sing and wonder,
Let us praise our Savior's Name!

    We, we delight in the Son, who gives us light
    And his light has now dawned on us
    We, we delight in the Son, who gives us light
    And his light has now dawned on us

Let us praise and join the chorus
Of the saints enthroned on high;
Here they trusted Him before us,
Now their praises fill the sky:
"You have washed us with Your blood;
You are worthy, Lamb of God!"

Let us love and sing and wonder,
Let us praise our Savior's Name!

    We, we delight in the Son, who gives us light
    And his light has now dawned on us
    We, we delight in the Son, who gives us light
    And his light has now dawned on us

It may not be well-known, but the arrangement is very easy to play (on guitar anyway) and sing. I appreciate the comments on my previous idea indicating that "And Can It Be That I Should Gain" is not so obscure as I originally thought. Dad has given me a lot of suggestions that I hope to have some time to organize and pick some good candidates soon. Holly wants to have this nailed down by November. :)

One thing I am pondering and think would be nice is for Holly and I to include a psalm, hymn, or spiritual song at some point during our wedding ceremony. I think that would be one appropriate way for Holly and I to confess the faith that we share and that is and will be the foundation of our relationship and to invite the congregation to confess with us, pointing toward the One toward whom marriage ought to point. Though I don't know the tune and can't recall ever having sung this one before, here is a candidate with great Christ-exalting lyrics:

And Can It Be That I Should Gain

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

’Tis mystery all: th’Immortal dies:
Who can explore His strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
To sound the depths of love divine.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,
Let angel minds inquire no more.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
Let angel minds inquire no more.

He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam’s helpless race:
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

If you have other suggestions, please feel free to share them. My main criteria are to find something that exalts Jesus, is well-known, and is easy to sing for people who might not know it already. The above hymn is probably not well enough known, has a somewhat lame tune (at least on cyberhymnal), and, at six stanzas, is too long. But those lyrics are great and worth re-reading (especially if you just skimmed them the first time) and meditating on!

Well, the title may be a bit over the top, but today I learned something new about Windows that I had never known in all my years of using this fine operating system. The secret is this: You can't name any file named 'con.*' or 'nul.*'. Go head—try it!

When I first tried to name a file con.sbs and the computer refused, I thought my computer was borked, so I rebooted. Still no joy, though I did get lucky enough to see the BSOD when connecting to a device on my Belkin Network USB Hub, the driver for which is very flaky. I then booted into safe mode thinking it might be a driver problem. Yet even in safe mode Windows opposed my desired filename. I ran a filesystem check, and it turned up no problems. Hmmmm...

Confounded, I went to the next office to talk to Damian about it, and his computer did the same thing. Amazing! At least this indicated that my computer wasn't messed up as I had thought. I came back to my office, booted back to Windows in normal mode and asked the all-knowing sage Google, "Why doth Windows deny the filename 'con.*'". The wise master replied, "Indeed, Windows doth still have a heart of DOS 1.0, and thus the eternal magic files 'CON' and 'NUL' remain forever potent."

Google went on to point me to the ultimate source of knowledge on this subject, Microsoft himself. Microsoft says, "Do not use the following reserved device names for the name of a file: CON, PRN, AUX, NUL, COM1, COM2, COM3, COM4, COM5, COM6, COM7, COM8, COM9, LPT1, LPT2, LPT3, LPT4, LPT5, LPT6, LPT7, LPT8, and LPT9". Who knew?!

And now you and I know another little Windows quirk....

Holly and I reached a new, very important defining moment tonight. Here's the story....

Last week I called Holly's sister's fiance to find out Holly's ring size. (This turned out not to be correct, but anyway....) With that information in hand, I went to the jewlery store last Thursday before community group to pick out a ring. It didn't take me long to find a nice one that I was pretty sure would suit Holly well.

Through the weekend and up through today I was debating with myself about how and when to ask Holly. Should I use one of our free nights this week? Or should I save it for our camping/canoeing trip this weekend? Today I decided that I didn't want to wait, so after work, after going to check out rental canoes, I went by her parents' house to get their blessing. They were glad to hear that I was going to ask Holly to marry me and gave enthusiastic approval.

On the way home from their house, I swung by the grocery store to pick up a card, flowers, and a canister of oatmeal. With those items, I returned home and called Holly's dad in Oklahoma to get his blessing as well. He had a few questions for me, but in the end he gave me the go-ahead and I was all set. I wrote out a little message in the card and sat down to jam on the guitar for 45 minutes until it was time to go meet Holly at her house for dinner.

When it was time, I drove over to Holly's apartment. As I came up the stairs, I had the flowers and card out and ready and the ring secured on my left pinky finger. Holly was in he middle of getting yummy chicken alfredo ready when I arrived, so she answered the door and barely noticed the flowers before returning to the kitchen to keep the sauce from burning. She took the card and set it on the corner of the table and then went with the flowers into the kitchen.

Since Holly couldn't hold the flowers and stir the alfredo sauce at the same time, she gave me the flowers and asked me to get them set in a cup. I did that with some difficulty since I was trying to keep the ring on my pinky finger hidden. Holly noticed that I was standing there awkwardly, so she asked what was going on. After she continued to be distracted by dinner and with the card languishing on the table, I finally exclaimed, "Read the card!" So she did.

The front of the card reads, "So often, you cross my mind. And I think, 'I am so lucky.'" (True!) Then she opened it and read, "love you" on the inside of the card. Since I had told her that I was not going to tell her that I loved her until I was ready to back that with a commitment--represented by a ring--she knew what that meant. The rest of my message in the card confirmed what she was thinking: "Yep! For sure! Will you marry me? Check yes or no: [ ] Yes [ ] no (Please say yes.)" Then she started to giggle and jump up and down and grabbed me for a hug. I'm pretty sure she said "Yes" in there somewhere. I made her check the box anyway....

So now we've been adjusting to the thought that we are engaged and are committed to being married! God has certainly been guiding us through our relationship so far; Holly continually challenges me in a wonderful way to grow in my walk with God and grow as a man, and I think that I have been a blessing to her as well. I appreciate all the prayers of those who have lifted us up so far, and we continue to need the Lord to lead us as we move into this new plateau in our relationship.

(See Holly's side of the story.)