Standing at the Microphone…

Many people quote Socrates, concerning marriage, as once saying, “My advice to you is get married. If you find a good one, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” However, what Socrates really said was, “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher… and that is a good thing for any man.”

It seems that either one you use, you still get the idea that Socrates was not fond of his wife and therefore publicly made it known in a sarcastic statement that is still being quoted in books and comedy circles ages later. It makes me sad to read such remarks concerning marriage made by one of the most famous philosophers in history, and I can’t help but feel very sorry for his wife.

As I think on what husbands and wives may say about each other when the other is not present (or perhaps they are), it seems that our words toward one another should be of utmost importance if we take our roles in marriage, especially as Christians, to heart. Since the Bible repeatedly uses marriage as an analogy for which we put on display the grace, love, reconciliation and oneness of the Gospel, perhaps we should strive to build up the men and women God has brought us together with in our marriages. As closely as we are regarded by the outside world for just being Christians, we are even more of a target of speculation as being Christians who are married! How we treat, speak to, behave around, and love our spouses (whether present or not!) is under a magnifying glass for the surrounding world. How many times do we hear of Christian marriages being berated because of problems which may/may not lead to divorce, rather than the ‘norm’ of non-Christian ones with the same problems?

As I think of our marriage, I am so blessed to see that we really do strive to uphold one another, serve one another and encourage one another. I want to be able to display King Solomon’s words in Proverbs 31:10-12, 23 & 28:

“A wife of noble character who can find?
       She is worth far more than rubies.

 Her husband has full confidence in her
       and lacks nothing of value.

 She brings him good, not harm,
       all the days of her life…

…Her husband is respected at the city gate,
       where he takes his seat among the elders of the land…

…Her children arise and call her blessed;
       her husband also, and he praises her”

I want Paul to be blessed in his life: with his family, with his work, with his friends, and with his ministry through our marriage. Most importantly, I want others who see our marriage from an outside perspective to be able to see the grace and gospel of Jesus Christ as we strive to represent it accurately in this analogous relationship called marriage.

And I feel really yucky! I haven’t yet filled the prescription partly because I haven’t gotten over to the pharmacy yet but also because I’m kind of reluctant about taking it. I don’t like pills, at all!! I say “Boo!” and do a thumbs-down kind of thing.  Ah well, I suppose I should try to get it filled tomorrow before I head to my parent’s house for dinner, and then maybe by all the clinics next week I’ll feel better.

On another note, I really really dislike this year’s flu season. It’s not even October yet and work is just INSANE! It’s the worst flu season I’ve had so far with work, and it’s barely just started. I came home extremely grumpy today, and I know part of my impatience is because I don’t feel well, but today was a pretty bad day. I’m ready for it to be over… yeah.

I haven’t written anything in a long time, and it’s partly because I haven’t really had anything to say. I did change my blog theme, so come check it out – it’s a bit darker and perhaps reflects the calm that I hope will resemble some rest at home.

Work has been starting to get VERY busy, especially with H1N1 flu scares going around so I’ve had hundreds of phones calls about that alone, along with the regular seasonal flu shifting early this year. Work is going to be quite chaotic for me through the rest of the year most likely. Therefore, I apologize ahead of time for not writing more – I know I will be struggling to rest in itself, much less to communicate on my blog. Bear with me during this season, please.

I will share my Menu Plan for dinners this week, since I just got it done:

Saturday (tonight): Cabbage Rolls w/ Baked Potatoes
Sunday: Broccoli Cheese Chicken w/ Veggies
Monday: Italian Pork Chops w/ Green Peas and Onion
Tuesday: Sausage & Spinach Rigatoni w/ Mozzarella Cheese Sticks
Wednesday: Paul will have a Steak w/ Corn; while I go to my parents’ house.
Thursday: Homemade Pizza w/ Peaches
Friday: Crispy Chicken Strips w/ Cheesy Mixed Veggies
Saturday: Garlic Butter Steak w/ Roasted Thyme Potatoes
Sunday: Picante Roast w/ Mexican Corn

I’ve made it a habit to do slow-cooker meals on Sunday so that I don’t have to cook, as we are both trying make Sunday our day of rest and be serious about taking a Sabbath. We don’t go grocery shopping, do any cleaning, and limit how much time we cook so we can take advantage of not having a long “to-do” list that needs to be accomplished. It’s taken some getting used to but now I really value this time, I don’t worry so much about getting things finished before work rolls around on Monday again, and we’ve been able to visit with some friends and relax before starting the week again. It’s been a blessing for sure!

Well, that’s all I’ve got today, not much else. I am about ready to go swimming!!

I was pacing in a room at the church, eating a sandwich for lunch and trying to make sure I didn’t spill anything on my wedding dress, waiting for one more hour when I could marry the most amazing and godly man I know! Today marks our 6-month anniversary; yes, we’re still newlyweds and it’s the best adventure I’ve ever had in my life!

Marriage, unlike what I was always told, has not actually been that huge of an adjustment for us. We were just talking about this not too long ago, but it’s really easy to be married to Paul. We both enjoy similar things and strengthen each other in our weaknesses; for instance I am more outgoing when it comes to being in a group of people than he is (though I’m totally an introvert) and he helps me re-evaluate what comes out of my mouth to reflect reality rather than my emotional response to something, etc. We also work together to keep the house clean and in order, to get meals on the table, and to do ministry responsibilities. We share the load in almost everything. It’s so wonderful to be married to a man who is so selfless, giving, caring, strong, tender, handsome and of course holy. (You can read all about my praises for him during my “Praying for Your Husband” series in July)

I am so blessed to have Paul as my husband!! 6 months down & a lifetime to go. I LOVE YOU, HONEY!!!

This website provides free information on felons in your area. It’s a resource that I know many women use to make sure that their family is aware of who lives around them, especially if they have kids; I thought I’d share it with you.

This weekend was supposed to be a wonderful, relaxing celebration of Paul’s birthday with good friends, and it was… while it lasted. Last night we all had a great time roasting hot dogs, telling stories, watching stars and gazing at the Milky Way while having a beer together. Bedtime rolled around and the fire had burned down so we started packing all the food up to go in the truck. Well, the cooler didn’t make it in the truck, and we all laid down for a good night’s rest.

It was about 4:30am or so, when I woke up with a start. I heard something, it sounded like a very heavy footstep. Then I heard something else and it was a big grunt. I leaned over to Paul and whispered, “Honey! There’s a bear!” And at that moment, we heard the cooler crash onto the ground. For the next half-hour or more, we listened to a bear eat all of our food and go sniff around our tents. Poor Shannon was in my little backpacking tent about 10 feet away, all by herself, and I knew she was freaking out. I just wanted to go out and see if she was ok. Paul kept telling me that we need to wait for it be done and leave before going out and for a while I just kept thinking about the 50/50 chances that if I went outside the tent, it would either scare away and I could rescue Shannon, or it would be angry and rush toward me in an attack. Since I didn’t know what kind of bear it was, I decided to wait it out for a bit. Plus, as long as I could hear where it was it wasn’t a big deal, but then there’d be times when it was almost silent and then you’d hear a massive deep breath within a foot of your face. It really was terrifying!

Then I got restless and finally made up mind, knowing that I’d been praying for God to make the bear leave, I started putting on my sweatshirt. Paul asked what I was doing, and I told him, “I’m putting on my sweatshirt so I can go check on Shannon.” When I got it on, I went to the door of the tent and we didn’t hear the bear at all. I sat there for a couple minutes just listening and then opened the tent door and looked out. I couldn’t see anything so I stepped out. It was really dark and I wasn’t really sure the bear was actually gone but then Paul joined me outside the tent and I went straight to Shannon. I said her name before opening her tent so she’d know it was me and I just heard this frantic, “HOLLY!” and then just hugged her until she calmed down.

We then woke up the other guys and we all cleaned up the (surprisingly) neat mess that the bear left behind. Shannon and I startled at each moving shadow that presented itself when we walked to the bathroom or cleaned up, until the dawn broke and daybreak illuminated our surroundings. Paul and I were up for the day after that incident while the others tried to go back to bed and sleep some more since it was so early; and we decided to come home early from his birthday camping weekend. It worked out better for us anyway, but I’ll never forget how terrifying it was to hear this big breath and big footsteps just on the other side of a nylon barrier…

And no, there aren’t any pictures!

I came across this article today which discusses one woman’s desire to be a “stay-at-home-wife” (without kids) and to be honest, the article resonates with me quite a bit. I’ve always been of the mind to “work while you can” – not for the goal of getting as much money in the bank as possible (though up until recently I certainly had to provide for my own needs) but simply because I am able to work therefore I should work. I, somewhat like the submitter, struggle with balancing my working schedule and energy with my new role as a wife. I’ve had the passing thought many times of cutting back my hours at work, and certainly when I become pregnant my desire is to be a stay-at-home mom, but I haven’t done anything about these thoughts (I haven’t even talked to Paul about them) and part of me wonders why.

Granted, we’d like to prepare for the future by looking toward starting a family someday and putting a good down payment on a house to set down roots somewhere – which means making the best of the dual-income situation while we can – and I think that might be my biggest reason why I haven’t really given it a second thought. I think another reason why it may be hard for me to give “cutting back” a second thought is because I think of what people expect from me (my bosses, my co-workers, and perhaps even my husband) and I have a huge fear of disappointing people. I know, a totally wrong motive, but it’s a motive nonetheless. However, as I continually come home tired – especially after long full days of clinics and many times just being exhausted when I walk through the door  – and as I see quite a few months of our busiest season coming in just a few weeks, I’m already tired! And that’s only thinking about work! That’s not including the time, effort and energy it takes to keep the house somewhat clean, plan meals, fix meals, errands, projects, etc.

I must say that I am immensely blessed with Paul though!! He even stated it last night: “We make a great team!” He does so much to help me, without being asked many times. If he knows I’ve got a full day of clinics, he’s usually the first to offer to get dinner started. If I don’t feel well, he makes me go rest, read or take a bath while he cleans things up. When I’m feeling overwhelmed by things that are coming throughout the week, he’s even done the weekly menu-plan for me!! (Menu-planning is still a small nemesis of mine…) So, I’m certainly not complaining about our life together and all the “to-do” lists; I’m simply stating what my desires are versus what reality is for me. My full desire is to support my husband as best I can without running  myself ragged…simple.

Here’s my perspective: I have a full-time, pretty demanding job (I’ve been told that at least 3 full-time hires would do everything that I’m supposed to do) sometimes with long hours and/or long driving distances; I also have the desire to support my husband as best I can as his wife and that means taking care of our home and meals each day in addition to trying to be a blessing and joy to him with my attitude, behavior and emotions. So, when the author Candice Watters (who’s book Paul and I have already read) states that many women “take up both curses”, I can say that I certainly feel the weight of that dilemma. I also saw this book that may be a good read, and I’d like to check it out.

So, what does this mean for me? I don’t know. But I do know that God is continuing to grow me in areas of placing boundaries and watching my outside commitments. I am starting to recognize when/how I can reduce my commitment level and how much I am involved with. It’s especially important for me to do this when I feel a lot of pressure from work or when I can see this pressure coming (like this upcoming busy season that will last through December).

This is the LAST day of my “Praying for Your Husband” activity, and to be honest, it really has been pretty hard! It’s required perseverance, discipline, patience, and a lot of love. It hasn’t been this nice simple “ok, now I’m going to pray for Paul so let me look at some Scripture…” but instead it’s been a challenge and even on some days I had to fight through boredom and my attitude. It’s not easy to commit to praying for someone every day and then remember (or desire) to actually do it. On the other hand, it’s been SO rewarding to see myself grow as I’ve surrendered my will and desires to focus my attention on my husband in order to encourage him and strengthen him. I recommend you do this exercise and see how you and your husband grow through the process!!

Today, I’m grateful that Paul is the man he is and that Christ has brought him into my life, led us to eachother and caused us to be husband and wife. God seriously couldn’t have a better man out there for me – who can challenge me, pursue me and love me the way that Paul does. I am so blessed to be his wife and I am honored that God would give such a wonderful gift to me!

My prayer today would be that we grow in love, patience, forgiveness, and encouragement with one another; and that we would fight for one another when the world sometimes seems to take over our focus on God and His call on our lives as husband and wife. May we be disciplined to show love toward one another and bring glory to God through our marriage, and as we (hopefully in the future) raise children and interact as a family. May God be our focus and benefactor, and may He be praised by our lives together!

Song of Solomon (Song of Songs)

I enjoy seeing that Paul strives to serve others, that he’s always looking for opportunities to help people or just show love to them by inviting them over for a home-cooked meal.

I’m praying that Paul would continue to serve others, and God, out of pure motives and that he would continue to be sensitive to the Lord’s voice, in order to glorify Him during his acts of service. Also that Paul would evaluate himself in determing his motives for service.

1 Corinthians 10:13; Colossians 3:23-24; John 7:17-18

I enjoy the fact that Paul knows what he’s good at and how to best prioritize his efforts. He seeks to do things and help in ways that he knows he can do well with and that exercise his strengths.

My prayer today will be that Paul continues to bring forth his spiritual gifts and his time and talents to the Lord. That God will show strength in Paul’s weaknesses and that through Paul’s spiritual gifts God’s glory would be revealed and made manifest in his career, at home and with ministry.

Ephesians 5:15-16; 1 Corinthians 12:4,7